The Pope Is Right

Pope The media loves to get on its high horse of righteousness and slabber lyrical about how stupid the Pope is with regards to condoms.

Well he’s an easy target, but answer this, has he ever got anyone pregnant? No. Has he got the AIDS? No. So as far as he knows, not using condoms works perfectly.

It’s all a matter of perspective. So let us enlighten you with some other truth-perspectives that the Pope has, expect them to be coming to a mass near you very soon:

Pope Hat

The argument over whether Pluto is a planet or a plutoid is irrelevant. The Pope has never seen Pluto – Pluto doesn’t exist.
Having never seen the first two, the Pope assumes that Godfather III is the best.
The Pope stopped watching football nearly 40 years ago and thinks the 1971 Arsenal team is still the best team in the league.
The Pope doesn’t believe that Jade Goody was a saint or an exemplar of almost biblical proportions.
The Pontiff believes that wearing trousers is not conducive to a well aired bollock, and he never wears them.
The Pope believes, nay knows, that Jebus was made out of wafers.
He steadfastly refuses to use email, and believes that "faxing is the way of the future".
El Papa can correctly complete any crossword without looking at the clues as he is infallible not only in matters of faith, but also with all puzzles or games.
The Pope doesn’t believe -273°c is the lowest temperature possible. His oven goes well over 200°c, so he thinks fridge manufacturers just need to try harder.
The Pope has never been to the Great Wall of China, but he reckons it probably isn’t that great, plus he can’t see it from his house, so how could it be seen from space...
He doesn’t believe any of the rumours about Darren Fletcher.

If you think you know better than the Pope, email
God@randomshite.co.uk