Obama Wins Nobel Pizza Prize
Controversy has erupted like a Swedish fart-bomb as a committee of self appointed know-it-alls have decided to award Barrack Obama with the Nobel Pizza
Prize.
The move has taken many by surprise as President Obama has yet to make a single pizza since becoming President. Sure, he’s talked
loads about his great plans for Hawaiian pizzas, and pizzas with so much meat you could choke a cat, but in the cold light of day it is clear that he
hasn’t so much as twirled a pizza base in the air over the last 9 months.
Some people are even suggesting that he only won it because he is black – as if black people can't make pizzas. We all know this sort of pizza
racism is rife in Sweden, why can't we all just acknowledge it? Perhaps a good pre-emptive war would sort them out.
Others are suggesting that he has only won because he isn't George Bush. Well this is a crap argument. Six and a half billion people
aren't George Bush, so it would seem something of a fluke if he won on this basis. Besides, W made great pizzas, and Rumsfeld's insurgent sauce
was to die for.
While some previous winners of the prize have carried on to further success in the field, such as Johnny Pizza Express and Micky Domino, others have
been criticised for using pizza for evil after winning, such as when Henry Kissinger planned to drop pizza bombs on Vietnam.
Obama isn’t the first President to win while in office, but the other two who did won theirs ages ago, before the Internet and deep pan were invented,
so we won’t waste time on them. More recently, during history that matters, ex-President Jimmy Carter famously eradicated the memory of being
the worst President ever, and vanquished the hurt of losing an election to Ronald "Cuckoo" Regan, by winning the Nobel Pizza Prize for building homes
for the poor, made entirely from mozzarella and used crusts.
Al Gore, the permanent bridesmaid, is probably the greatest Nobel Pizza Prize winner of all time, given that he ate a pizza the size of Florida after
losing the Presidential election.
If you think you deserve a Nobel Pizza Prize, email
extra-cheese@randomshite.co.uk
