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Lick My Creamy Head

"Lick My Creamy Head"

Ronaldinho

"Ronaldinho"

Peter Crouch

"Peter Crouch"

I Love It When You Slap My Balls

"I Love It When You Slap My Balls"

Ellen MacArthur Sails Into A World Of Trouble

"Ellen MacArthur Sails Into A World Of Trouble"

Steffi Graf

"Steffi Graf"

I've Pissed On You

"I've Pissed On You"

Paedoclown Bob

"Paedoclown Bob"

I'm Off My Tits

"I'm Off My Tits"

Autumn Olympics
The winter ones just aren't sustainable.

When Goals Become Gaols
See, oldie style words do have a use!

His Name Is Rio And He Spit-Roasts In The Sand!
Rio gets gold.

Pondering The Enigma Of Wayne Rooney
A riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, inside in a pastie bap.

Speed Ain't Everything
A Bolt pun would have been too obvious, even for us.

What A Bunch Of Coqs
Elite athletes in bin-bags. And Phil Neville.

Football Has Gone Fucking Nuts
The title says it all really, so this subtitle is somewhat superfluous. Like Craig Bellamy.

Tennis Player Sex Faces
If the wind changes it'll stay like that.

It's A Funny Old Game
The secrets of football transfer season revealed.

Is Football Coming Home?
England can't win the World Cup, so they at least want to host it.

Happy Birthday GAAAAA
Any excuse for a piss up.

Ipswich Switch Jilted Jim Magilton For Tractor Roy
Only so much 'dog time' a man can take.

Things To Know About Tammy Bowe
That's Tammy, not Tommy, get it right.

Job On The Tyne Is All Mine
...all mine, the job on the Tyne is all mine!

F1 New Season New Rules
And new TV channel.

Rafael Benitez Master Talktician
The pressure of being a Big-Three-Plus-Liverpool™ manager is showing.

Footballers Getting Arrested
Red card behaviour.

Sports Personality of the Year Awards 2008
We honour our sporting heroes yet again.

Future Of The Boat Race
Sold down the river.

Keane's Sunderland Dreams Dest-Roy-ed
We were quite Keane to use that pun.

Sorry Is The Hardest Word
Even harder than Vinnie Jones.

Westmeath – The West Virginia Of Ireland
GAAAAAAaAaAaAaAaAaaAaAAaAAa!

Pardon My French
Aaaaaarrrsseennee Wengaaaaaaar, a wimoweh, a-wimoweh a-wimoweh, a wimoweh.

Legends Of British Tennis
New balls please.

Roy Keane's Sunder-Market Sweep
Buy! Buy! Buy!

New Olympic Events For China
It's not about the taking part, it's about a shit-load of medals.

Graham Poll Lays Down The Law
He shows a red card to bad footballness. He has no power over our grammar though.

Rio Ferdinand
Oh Rio Rio dancer across the Rio grande.

Avram Grant At Chelsea Town - The Story So Far
He looks good in a tracksuit.

Water We Going To Win Without Cheats?
If only producing shite was a sport.

Keane - The Disclipliner
Don't cross Keano or he'll get cross.

Dame Kelly Says NO!
She's got her running knickers in a right twist.

Random Shite Plans To Buy Football Club
Everyone else is at it, so why not us.

Fabio's First Phrases
He speaky Ingleesh!

Sports Personality of the Year Awards 2007
Time to honour our sporting heroes again.

GAAAAA Take The Money And Run
Fucking Amateurs

13 Jobs Better Than Being England Manager
Sure who would want that job??

World Cup Draw
Exciting.

A Man To Replace Stan
It turns out Stan wasn't the man so the FAI need another man who isn't Stan.

The Special One
Even more special than special sauce, which by definition is special.

Cheating Bastards
Some people say cheaters never prosper. That's why they are losers.

Women's Soccerball
Let's make things better.

Rugby Is For Tossers
29 months late is better than never.

London Town Olympic Logo
Finally someone sorts out Seb Coe.

We're Not Brazil And We're Not On TV
Justice in the 21st century.

Steve McClaren: England Loser
The fact that he is shite finally catches up with him.

That Kid Who Sailed Across The Atlantic
In his own words.

Sports Personality of the Year Awards 2006
Time to honour our sporting heroes again.

Who the fuck is Zara Phillips?
Proof that Princess Anne has speed dial.

Coaching Badges
What are they all about?
Let us educate you.

What An A-Cole
Ashley Gets Booked.

Olden Balls
Shock decision to drop worst player.

World Cup Results
Keep right up to date with all the latest World Cup Action.

John Motson's World Cup Stat Attack
He has more facts than a big fat book of facts.

Steve McManager
Well done Steve, the whole country is behind you. With knives.

More Shocking Sven Revelations
Some more undercover shenanigans disguised as real journalism.

Ultimate Darts Player
Like Frankenstein's monster we cobble together the greatest darts bloke ever assembled.

Sports Personality of the Year Awards
Time to honour our sporting heroes with some prestigious awards.

Tribute To George Best
We pay tribute to the life of Bestie - our role model.

New Maze Stadium
A closer look at the plans for the new stadium at the Maze.

What Roy Keane Really Said
Here's what the Manchester United captain really said in his MUTV interview.

Fantastic 1-0 Victory!
What a night. What a victory.

Jimmy Cricket's Guide To Cricket
Cricket can be really confusing. This guide, em, won't help much.

Wimbledon Fiasco
After the crazyness of the American Grand Prix, Wimbledon has its own fiasco!

Harry Vs Gary
Harry Kewell takes on national treasure Gary Lineker. Why? Cos he's a twat.

Hann Undercover
Quinten, Quinten, he's our man, if he can't do it no-one Hann. Exclusive undercover report!

Peter Ebdon
Peter Ebdon, the man with the 5 minute break of 12. How Shite.

Rule 42
A special Rule 42 announcement.

Wayne Rooney
A walking pastie bap. All fat and greasy.

Olympic Heroes
Like the British? Like the Olympics? Check out our guide to Britain's great Olympic Heroes.

Ellen's Diary
Ellen's personal account of what she did on a boat for 80 odd days.

Ellen MacArthur
A tribute to our cry baby hero.

Footballers' Knives
The most important item in any footballer's kitchen.

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