Apple Goes Super-Nano

Chief Apple-corer, Steve McBlowjobs has launched Apple's rival to the Large Hadron Collider, just days after testing began by CERN.

Apple's version will be "smaller than a mobile phone, lighter than a feather and faster than Usain Bolt", and will have additional features that the LHC doesn't have, including Bluetooth compatibility and a dimmer switch facility for all standard lights.

The new piece of geekery will connect to Apple’s iParticles webstore, where you can purchase Apple brand protons, neutrons and all sorts of exotic particles*.  McBlowjobs hopes to release it in Europe before Billy-Bob Gates launches his Windows XPLHC version in October.

If you have an apple and want to swap it for an orange email us at
my-phone-blows@randomshite.co.uk

*Higgs Boson currently unavailable